WAQT

Just some lines today :

अटक जाता है कभी
पाँव मे चुभे कांटे की तरह
सुई की नोक से कुरेदता हूँ
तो और चुभता है !

फिसल जाता है कभी
सांझ की धूप सा , आँगन के कोने से
पास जाता हूँ
तो और दूर जाता है !

सुलझाता हूँ तो उलझ जाता है
बुझाता हूँ तो सुलग जाता है
साँसों की बुनी चारपाई पे पसर जाता है !

ये वक्त है के कटता भी नहीं
ये वक्त है के थमता भी नहीं
ये वक्त इतना मतलबी क्यों है ?

Love
~Ami

Moods :

Moods...the different shades of thoughts. Today morning I was the saddest person on earth as I was stuck to a snippet of code and in evening I was the happiest one as it was raining and rain makes my mood...and to write also. We are all about moods...Title needed clarification :) !

Writing flow has been forcibly diverted to some other thing these days and I have several excuses on that, like office data security guys have found their sixth sense working suddenly and have applied a lot many security policies on office computers, one of which restricts access to all the social networking and blogging sites...thank god Google works. I wonder if Google stops working, how IT industry will do, I guess 90% of s/w engineers would rather prefer to have a ‘Dhaba’ at crossroads nearby their homes....don’t mind, money you make is almost same...only status is different J !...Now you would ask, if really this disaster has happened then how I am posting all this to you... and I will answer ... ‘Mine is a new Chic’ J ! Have bought my new laptop (Dell Inspiron) some days back and enjoying internet access on my lap at home.

Now when destiny has made me back, it’s time to spread several collected minutes at front of you :-

Last night DJ called me from B'lore...he was telling that there is buy one get one offer on surf excel.He recently has got married and I visited home for his marriage :). We know each other from that age of childhood when a sense of friendship starts growing inside a kid...in common words we are “Chaddhi Yaar”. Except “Chaddhis” we shared a lot many things like Common games, Common tutors, Common schools, Common Colleges, Common professions, Common problems, Common fun and even in teen age the girls we used to have crush on, were common...and this all was coming in my mind on the day of his marriage when I was seeing him on the stage with his wife...How time turns?...marriage forbids sharing ;) ...right DJ ? (I can feel you smirking if you get to read this)...I remember the days when we were in college and newly made accounts on almost each and every social networking site, age mates with status ‘single’ would often update their photo albums in different posses, styles with cool eye gears... some days back while surfing net I noticed almost 75% of contacts have been updated to ‘committed’, six pack abs are turned to curved tummies and some who were of hasty nature or had an uncontrollable wild passion inside are still posing there, same old shades can be noticed but 1-2 years old kids are wearing them ;) ...being called dad in 20’s is an awesome feeling...as they say !!

Very few times in life we get to reach places when others don’t dare to see you gaze to gaze, last days i achieved this milestone for the first time in my life. Had conjunctivitis, people even were not daring to come around and those who had guts were talking to me but behaving like having squint. Boss was politely offering me 2-3 days off’s from office, I pinched myself to checkout if i was in this real world only.

To change moods I with some friends managed a trip to Shimla.We got only two days of weekend for this, started Friday night and joined back on Monday morning. But two days were enough to add some wired/ interesting things in piggy bags of experience. We rented a car from Delhi to Shimla as majority of people were in this favour, but just after some hours of starting the journey majority turned minority J !..It was a bad decision. And one bad decision made some mates to do things that a lady do after 4-5 months of pregnancy, after 4-5 hours of journey some of us started puking.I somehow managed to prove myself brave...yeah... not puking on those roads was a real bravery. After reaching Shimla, we were not able to roam that much as most of us were tired but as we had taken the hotel on Mall road only, we decided to go out. All tiredness changed to energy in a jiffy when we saw the crowd at the place, it was like a fair planned for us...everything was full of beauty [trip mates, I meant ‘everything’ ;)]...Second day we planned for Kufri as people told us that it’s a must watch place. We took horses to climb up and again it could be bad decision as it was a fatal horse ride. The master was such a stupid gay (oh sorry guy), left everyone alone to die on those narrow hilly paths. To encourage myself I was singing the lines "Wo gulab banke khilega kya , jo chirag banke jala na ho". Horse was driving me at front, got idea to check if all seven of us are alive, i saw back. Everyone was exchanging smiles as if it was the last time we were seeing each other. I was also almost confirmed to see my friends again in hell (heaven could not be expected as we committed sins by abusing the horse master in almost every known language).We paid 380 bucks per person which includes whole sight seen on the horse.Dont know who came and got us off the horses in the mid way and told that this was the destination. Being a tourist 50% of mind accepts all the cheatings on you...rt ?...After some hours we called horse guy to take us back. I guess he was week in calculations; he told us to come in 40 minutes and came after four hours. We could not fight with him as he only has to take us down. Somehow we managed to come down and first thing we did was his complaint to nearby police station. Big applause to Himachal police, they listened our complaints, called that guy and made him to refund half of our money...and this was the happy end of bad story. Again one round of Mall road with a coffee of CCD was enough for refreshment; we left Shimla around 7:30PM.

In between another year is stolen from my account on passed 16^th july (if you have read my older posts)...will splash my thoughts on you on this robbery ,but seeing the length of this post I skip it for now and keep it for next time... and sure this is due at my side !

Till then...

Love

~Ami

Experiments:

"Experimenting keeps us alive !!" ….Looks like endorsement line of some company…But certain things prove it true.

I was thinking why doing same work indulges a man to fall in boredom?...Why spark goes off when we repeat same thing over and over ? What exactly is the fuel this spark needs ?...a bit of thinking made me to conclude that “Experiments” can keep this spark alive …Do we really try our hands on them ?

Well…Just to start with this idea, while reading my own blog I experimented pressing “Cntr + A” and it made my reading bit smoother with less stress on eyes… really necessity is mother of invention. …try…try !!...I love black color… never goanna change my blog’s color theme.

Last days life was fully trapped in percentage figures…If I had done this much calculations in student life,I could be a topper of mathematics. Finally when appraisals are over I find myself somewhere lying on a thin fine line of difference between expectations and disappointment. To overcome appraisal blues I experimented a visit to pink city on a very short notice of some hours…which added many colors to my frame of mind and again this experiment worked for me.

In between writing germs made me to write some lines and it’s again about trying something new that I don’t do everyday and the things that I do I love sharing them with you…some things are exceptional !! (Please go through disclaimer before you start reading those lines.)


To keep the actual feeling alive I am trying to write it in Hindi…so if you don’t have Hindi fonts installed in your system, install them first. Thanks to goole for their experiment on translating English words to Hindi...you can also try it on … http://www.google.com/transliterate/indic# .

Disclaimer: The thought/feeling in below content is fully fictional and is for only 18 and above. I am not responsible if this experiment pushes you to fall in any fantasies. It is something that is limited to writing and doesn’t contain any bit of my thought process or experiences ...did I say experiences ;) ?...dont give looks yaar, the word “experiences” perfectly fits the place…and I am 99% sure about it… ½ % is left for those uninvited dreams which never come back once your sleep is broken and you put all your effort to start with it again where you left J , ¼ % falls in the category of “Exceptions” as I just wrote above...and remaining ¼ % for your scope of guesses, I really care for you. (I told you na I worked out a lot on percentage figures these days.)

So here it is : Title is - “Zinda Hai “

तेरी जुल्फों से ढकी
तेरी गर्दन पे बसी खुशबू
अब भी बहती है मेरी
साँसों में


गीला सा ज़ायका तेरी ज़बान का
सूखा नहीं है अब तक
मेरे होंठों से


मेरे गालों पे
तेरे हाथों की छुवन जिंदा है
मेरे कंधे पे
तेरे चेहरे का वज़न जिंदा है


कुछ ख्वाहिशें हैं
जो दम तोडती ही नहीं
कुछ एक ख्वाब
मेरी पलकों के तले
जिंदा हैं

इस कड़ी धूप में
इक प्यास जिंदा है अब तक
मोहोबब्बत
है के नहीं ,
अहसास अब भी जिंदा है !!




Enough of dreaming guys ….wake-up and get back to work. !!

Wish you all a belated Merry-Xmas and advance prosperous New Year ahead.

I find it true - Experimenting keeps us alive ….not only breathing !!...What do you say ??

PS: “Give me some sunshine, Give me some rain ….Give me another chance , wanna grow-up once again”…watch “3 Idiots”…awesome movie.


Love
~Amitesh

Some Common Days, Still Countable:

Other chunk of days has been passed with comparatively a bit hectic schedule. Was really busy in office for last some 4-5 weeks. Other than work, things which managed to be a part of my life between my last post and this one are very common but are worth it to eat some web space ...aren’t they ?, just because they are making me to write and you are reading them...Do I write pointless J ??


As I told you I was busy in office, but I enjoyed working these days and all of a sudden I came to know that I really love working sometimes :) !!...Just like after writing my first blog I came to know that I love writing….or after reading “Five Point Someone” I came to know that I love reading books. Third awareness of love forced me to read “Eleven Minutes” last days. But reading this book proved that love is blind. I loved the title at first sight and bought this book blindly, you please leaf through some pages before you decide to go for it. Book is not bad but make sure (if you living with your family) that none of others at home is interested in novels or you are not reading it openly. While reading I deeply felt need of censor board on print media too and especially when an aged guy like “Paulo Coelho” is the writer. These days I am testing on “Khalid Hussain” for his “Kite Runner”, through with first 80-90 pages and they have left a good enough picture of pages that are going to come.


Part II – Planning. Last days we planned a lot, .no not family/financial planning. This month 2-3 off’s are falling in and starting from today, which are enough to attract a cool trip to some hill station for computer stuck people like me. Initially we planned for Leh-Laddakh, but routes were closed so plan turned to Kathmandu (Nepal), some more ideas generated and then route diverted to Shrinagar and then to Shimla.And finally on Saturday 19th Sep when we were supposed to be on the way I am sitting here in office and writing blog.Really big plans result no result.


”Rain-Rain go away, come again another day”. After a prolonged wait it rained in Delhi...and was first Delhi like rain in this season. I woke–up and heard drops falling outside and that made my day but soon after it crated havoc on roads. I reached office around 12:15 and was in chaos, if I should switch-on my machine. Weather was not like to sit in office but I switched on my computer... who says if you are in office you should work?? I went down (I sit at third floor) saw some good scenes outside...people huddled under small roofs of “Paanwalas” and smoking…Traffic police man in “Chappals” trying sort out traffic blocks… and all that.. It was awesome and I was feeling like to fly. I cannot not fly but atleast can feel like flying, our cafeteria at 8th floor gives this feeling. Following the idea I took lift to 8th floor, Cafeteria. As lunch guy had not yet reached there, gobbled some Maggi, fruit chaat and cool vision of half drown “dhabas” around, where we used to have “paranthas” sometimes. Café Coffee Day has recently settled up a stall in our cafeteria...First time I noticed there punch line “A lot can happen over coffee”...n found it very true. I asked for it but unfortunately people had already made there day happening and coffee was finished, so passed time with Sweet Corns and persuaded myself to have coffee at my floor.. It was still drizzling. It rained 2 days continuously and these were some of the best days happened to me in this year.


And haan … watched Kaminey, agree “Life mai paiFa kamane ke do hi raFte hote hain, Ek Fortkut aur dooFra chota Fortcut”.But only film stars get these ‘Forcuts’. For us movie completes where reality actually starts.


“Ye the ab tak ke samachar, aap se dobara mulakat hogi agli post mai J” !! Enough for today, kaafi kaam kar liya… 6 minutes left to complete my time and that much I will need to switch off my machine….!!


~ Love

Amitesh

And One More Year Debited From My Saving Account @ Life’s Bank:

16th July 2009, 12:01 AM, and wishes started pouring up. It was my birthday. Some unexpected wishes astonished me whereas some wishes that I was waiting for were missing.


Every Birthday makes me bit more hesitant to include myself in the category of young lads. However I believe in “Goanna be 18 till I die”. One other thing that keeps growing stronger with my every birthday is the thought of my elders/ relatives about me. I think this starts happening when one has finished first 25 years of his life [ for females it starts a bit early…Sorry girls but its natural, can’t help it ]. Many called me up and asked “Shaadi ke bare mai kya socha hai ?” ….i quipped silently…when did I start thinking on this yaar ?.Well that is the toughest question I ever have faced, authors why don’t you write some books on this ?? Please tell me how to explain them that I am in love. I know your mind has started running here and there and have declared me big FOOL for disclosing all my private affairs on blog …….but yes...yes…yes I don’t have any doubt to say that I m in love with my bachelor life...stop making weird guesses :) .Required a couple of more years to feel myself mature enough and see other shades of life.


Dint get time in morning as mornings are scheduled for hopping as always, visited temple in evening (as if it was order from supreme court to visit temples on birthdays).Visiting temples sometimes makes me to feel guilt of selfishness, Go to temple, ask something for you and again do the same when first wish comes true (in terms of programming “an infinite for loop”….non techies please google it…google is nomore a technical stuff now). Really living beings are selfish. If you ask me the purpose or selfishness behind writing blogs, I would say I am creating a log which will definitely goanna help me when I am a 70 years old grown up young boy and trying to write my autobiography...is’nt it interesting ?


Don’t know how but every 365 days, someone debits a year from my saving account at life’s bank, that too a cash transaction. I wish if these transactions could be done through account payee cheques …this way my “year” would be transferred to somebody’s account only…again it’s a wish and out of my control. Well I am unaware of amount available in this account and when its goanna last.


Friends hang-on…its high time. Otherwise all of us who are running here and there have to meet at a common destination….. yes that is waiting for all of us… a pile if ash !!


“Hai junooooooooooouuun……hai junoon sa jeene mai” - that is what I am listening right now…..nice song from Newyork.


-- Love --

Amitesh

One night not at call center

Some days back, during my late night walk [let me clarify , I don’t have habit of walking in sleep , I take my dinner a bit late and have habit of having walk after that …so it’s a late night walk ], I was fully busy in love making; hikeys can still be spotted on all exposed part of my body. I don’t know what different taste mosquitoes find in my blood…need a desperate blood test to check level of sugar in it. If I had donated that much to blood bank it could have saved some lives. In the middle of life and death I was expecting a call from god which could save me from this hell happening all around. Chetan Bhagat assures you if you are a call centre employee and trapped somewhere, god will call you and give you tips to save yourself. Unfortunately I don’t work with call centre, so it was all different from Chetan Bhagat’s “One night at call center”, I am sure now you are clear with title of this post - “One night not at call center”….may be my next post will be named as “Happiness screwed up by mosquitoes” … J.


Yeah, so I was walking after my dinner…I was feeling a bit lonely, dull n nostalgic. However it happens rarely but when happens it brings a serious and big time debate or you cans say fight between my mind and my heart. As they were doing so, I was listening to them silently.

Highlights are as:

Heart : “How Selfish, greedy and materialistic your are, you left everyone and came so far to do a job…just to get a certain annual pay package ? ”.

Mind : “It doesn’t mean money only. It was to see whether I am capable to feel my responsibilities and to do what I felt, I should do.”

Heart : “Remember those days, place where you brought up, bunked up tuitions/college with friends and did all that fun and stupid things.”

Mind : “That was a part of life…a golden part that cannot be brought back. But see the number of people/relations, the family that you have made your own during this work life.Are’nt they fulfilling, helpful, satisfactory more than anyone else…don’t you enjoy time with them ??....time that passes always turns to beautiful memories. Might be after five years you remember these days as second best part of life J”.


And this went on and on, to come out of situations like this I find only two-three ways. Which are prioritized as: to call some friends and bore them, listen some music on phone or to weave some words and try to make some sentences with rhythm, I don’t call them poems. This night phone was empty with charge so happened the third one and sentences shaped up as below –


Neend aankhon se gir, bistar pe bikhar jaati hai
Khayal ud gaye kapoor ki dali (napthelin balls) ki tareh


Tujhse khwabon mai mile ek zamana beeta
Bas teri yaad hai , deewaron pe seelan ki tareh


[Wanted to write a lot but did’nt find words to express….Someone has rightly said “Udte firte hain titliyon ki tareh…….Lafz kagaz pe baithte hi nahi”….. , need to complete this n surely will share the full version with you very soon J.]

Suddenly my mind ordered me “Go to bed, you have to wake up for office in the morning”… though heart resisted for sometime but eventually mind has to win ….and I accepted the order n don’t remember how long it took me to fall in deep sleep !!

This was all the story of one night. I would love to know if you also experience some nights like this or feel some fighting inside you, if “yes” then what’s the conclusion that you make ;).

Today night I am leaving for my home for a small function and long vacation (10 days off), updates will be other side of off’s…..till then ADIOS.


- Love –
Amitesh

Life and Experiances

As promised, visited “Vaishno Devi” Last, three days long weekend. Still can feel pain in legs and freshness in mind. It was my first visit and as always people take “more than enough” interest in your trip to make you excited/scary, especially when they have seen the place you goanna visit, I also encountered some of them. It was really making me scared to track on (14+2 + something more) *2, i.e. around 36 kilometers on the feet’s journey. But as they say…“Mata ne Bulaya Hai” thing happened to me perfectly and it came up a full fun filled and devotional trip.

Big Label - DTC (Delhi Transport Corporation) pasted on the back side of our VOLVO bus extended our 14 hours calculated journey to 18 hours. It had some problem with battery but at least they had their TV in working condition and playing “GULAL”, yeah I m talking about Hindi bollywood movie. I guess battery was heating up of movie dialogues effects !!... A must LISTEN movie….somehow after embarrassing newly married couples sitting around , movie decided to reach “THE END” point and we decided to sleep. It was already 2 AM of Friday. But as you know divine law of struggle before glimpse of god (goddess in this case), a bunch of young collegians containing mixture of around 15 guys’ n gals started playing “ANTAKSHRI”. Starting 10 minutes were torture but after that it reminded others there college lives and we too started enjoying group songs by them, specially – “Ye Dosti Hum Nahi Chodenge”….really those were the days.

Finally all six of us reached KATRA around 3:30 PM and first thing we did was, secured tickets for returning and fortunately or unfortunately we got same service for back journey too. Wished either a decent movie played by them or absence of newly married couple at the seat before us. Booked hotel, had some rest, took bath, did some other things that are supposed to be done for good health, had lunch cum dinner and finally started climbing at 6:30 PM.

Really these are ever-lasting moments that made a special space in my memory. It would turn to be a book rather than a blog if I write all the things that are coming in my mind. Better if after placing first step on the way I directly come to last step and happenings in between can be summarized as I am trying to point out.

These are the things which made me to see at them differently :

- Queues and Check posts: Never saw these much queues and check posts in my life. Thank god my stomach favoured me otherwise it could be an embarrassing situation. Other question I kept asking my inner-self many times through out the climbing was …Do I look like thief ?...covering every 2-3 kms cops were making me to feel so…Jokes apart , I was feeling proud .Atleast at some places government gives you a sense of security……a feeling was growing in.

- Horses and Ponies: Its amazing experience to walk with horses that too when they are shitting all around. Either you save your life or play colors with colors given by them. Fragrance is still alive in my breaths …Haven’t you heard the old song …… “Humari Saanson mai aaj tak vo hina ki khusboo mahek rahi hai ”.

- Pilgrims : Salute to devoted pilgrims. Slogans echoing all around were giving a different energy to walk, that din’t let us feel the distance being covered. I saw people covering distance like reptiles, really hats off for them and their spirits.

- On the way Shops : Shops are big will booster’s.Everytime you pass on a shop a new melody of “Bhajan”, gives you a different color of the way. Though some were made on bollywood rythems like “Kajrare - Kajraare ” !!...also Rajma-Chawal served by them is awesome.

Finally after completing climbing in six hours and queuing up for two hours before BHAWAN (hours would be more appropriate unit of measurement for distance) we reached the place for which we have been waiting for, and got to touch forehead to holy statues. A true voice of “Jai Mata Di “ came from heart and long awaited thing got completed. Two hours rest n again movement to “Bahiro Nath” temple which is two kilometers from there started, completed it in two hrs and started rolling down at 4 AM in morning.

Experiencing all above and some more things which are not allowed to be part of a pilgrimage but are accepted to happen when you are accompanied with five more co-aged friends and all are playing their bachelor lives. My weakness, I can’t stop smiling at some odd situations, did same when saw people coming down getting there way completed. There walk was like worst than 2 years old kid who just have learned standing on his feet’s. But in accordance of Newton’s third law “Every action has Equal reaction”, I could see same smile on peoples face when I was trying to walk down !! .Dint try for “Garbh Gufa” (a cave with some spiritual beliefs) as it is believed that sinners can’t pass it through ..… ….Just kidding, couldn’t as it needed six more hours of wait and the word WAIT was impacting like slang at that moment.

So that was all how I spent close to six rounds of clock of my life.… n yeah as it happens, while coming back to Delhi we planned next trip to GOA...Lets see if it shapes up true….n one more thing while coming back bus guy played “Oye Lucky Lucky Oye” bt we had other married couple at that seat ....Wish came true :) !!

Lets wrap it up here.Many more things are striking my mind, otherwise I will start it again!!

"Jai Mata Di" once again , May god bless you all !!

--Love—

~Ami